This is what I want.
I am not ashamed. I am surprised at the number of people who I know should feel the same, but don't. I can not get over the number of people who scoff at it, and the number of women in that group who find it degrading. Because I don't. I don't think it means giving up who I am. I don't think it makes me any less of a person. This is what I individually want and need. And contrary to a seemingly popular belief, it is empowering. I crave that love & service & challenge. But at the slightest whisper or faintest mention of how I feel, the person with whom I express these desires clams up--in that I disagree with you but want to be polite so I won't say anything kind of way. It pains me. Because if everyone feels this way, it leaves me with no one. That's what scares me most.
There's so much more rounded out emotion to how I feel about this, but only so much can be conveyed in a blog.