31 March 2014

Moffat Manor

My parents recently decided that they hate me and sold our house.  To add insult to injury, they're abandoning me and moving across the country.  They've been talking about moving for a while, but the actual selling/buying of homes moved pretty quickly (like, in one day quickly).  They're moving shortly after Easter, so this means I'm spending part or all of virtually every weekend in between at home.  Trying to say goodbye to the house I've lived in for the past 14 years has been hard.  Just this weekend, I walked into my bedroom and started crying at the sight of my dresser.  To reiterate: I cried over a dresser.  In my defense, Paigey had stolen it and had it in her room for the past few years, so to see my room as my room, complete and whole, one more time was emotional.  An unexpected, but much needed, momentary return to a simpler time.

The three of us went to Front Street Fountain- the restaurant where my sister worked- for the last time.  We talked with the owners about Paige (and Jacob), and I ordered my favorite tomato-soup-that's-basically-just-marinara-sauce-and-it's-seriously-delicious.  I not only met Spiderman and Frank and Patty at FSF, I also got gear for gym and sports there back in the days that it was Bill Battey's.  And, you guessed it, I cried (I covered by saying, "Nope, not quite ready to order yet!")

Kayla came over, too.  We talked and went to Rita's (they even had rootbeer- the only flavor my Dad will eat, and the only one that I won't) and to the post office.  We ate pork chops and went to Women's Conference.  We got caught in the rain several times, which is the surest sign that spring has come.  The fireflies signal the arrival of summer, and I mourn the fact that I didn't know that my hometown firefly catching days last summer were my last.

I woke up to the scent of freshly-baked brownies on Sunday morning.  That alone should illustrate why I'm going to miss being able to go home several times a month.   Or maybe you would understand if you knew how comfortable my bed is, or how many off-season clothes my closet stores for me.  Or if you could read the countless volumes of my memories, or if you were able to see the trivial moments that serve as monuments to my personal growth.

Heilbron, how I love you.

north side

You're all invited home for Easter, just be forewarned that I'm going to be a wreck.


Utah Girl Am I said...

C$, this was beautiful and poetic. I love your house and your family and YOU! Sign me up for Easter! :)

Alex Holloway said...

I would love to come for Easter, but alas, it is too far.

As someone who said goodbye to their childhood home 4 years ago when family decided to be international travelers without me--I totally know how you feel right now.

I still hold Naperville as my true hometown, regardless of where the parents are. After living there for 15 years, how could I do anything but?. But that being said, I've learned that it's the people that make a home a home. I have felt at home, and fallen in love with our 4 story castle in London, our little cottage in the Netherlands where my bedroom was the size of my English bathroom, and our homestead in Maryland which is bigger than all of them.

The memories that you will make in your new place will make it feel like home. The things you have that hold sentimental value to you will likely still be there, waiting for you to come visit them and greeting you with the familiarity of childhood memories.

You'll have another corner of the world to label as "Camille's" and fill it with all of you.

Moving is hard, especially when you are not the one moving. It feels like the floor has been ripped from under you and the foundation of your person obliterated in one moment. That feeling will pass. I definitely cried tears of rage and disappointment when I learned my family was moving to London. Gross food, foreign country, driving on the wrong side of the road, far far away. But now, because of living there, it is my second favorite city in the world. I would go back in a heartbeat.

I have faith that you too will pull through. Don't be ashamed of the tears, the tears are proof that your life is good. But I know that it will continue to be that way and that you will find new favorite things about your new "home away from home."

Kati said...

So beautiful, so hard! I'm so sorry! My parents have lived in the same place all my life- I would totally cry if they sold it. I cried when we sold our van. Let those tears fly, girl!