As I imagine what I look like writing this (I know I could look in a mirror and just know what I look like while writing this, but we're talking about the glorified and perfectly lit movie-version of my life here, so I'm forced to imagine it), I look both sheepish and like Beyonce. You know what I mean? Slightly sheepish because, hey, I haven't written for three months (three months!!!). Like Beyonce because, hey, I ain't never gonna apologize for my feelings.
I don't think it's going to come as any surprise to anyone, but it has been so hard here in Utah. It's been a weird combination of seemingly endless culture shock, feeling blue, having a hard time making friends, and not remembering how to interact with people. Like really- how do I interact with people? How do I make the words into the sentences and simultaneously express emotion on my face and also intonation? I promise I'm not actually an Ice Queen.
But yesterday I got my haircut, and on some weird level that means I'm actually here. I have a new dry cleaner, a few new callings, and now I have a new hairdresser. There's no avoiding it anymore.
I'm rediscovering my momentum to work on my grad school apps, and I know I need this space to help me with that. I certainly can't write my bajillion essays if I'm out of practice writing here. So it's time to warm up my typing fingers and get my creative juices flowing. No promises for how often or how happy, but I do promise to do more, to be better.
It's nice to see you again.